Saturday, May 20, 2017

To Following Readers: IMPORTANT


Edward G. O. Radler Rice



“Flea”



“Badgers”



Please email Bear your mailing address and any special instructions regarding the autograph of your copy of Judging Angels. Thank you. (If you have already supplied this information, Bear must have lost it in the current confusion.)

Thanks to everyone who already has their copy in hand. Bear hopes his friends are enjoying it (and looks forward to their reviews, hint, hint). You have an advantage over non-Woodland Creatures because you know not to expect:
  1. Dan Brown.
  2. The Exorcist.
  3. "A heartwarming tale of a mysterious stranger who shows up in a small town and changes the inhabitants' lives forever." (Something like Pope Francis' "favorite movie" Babette's Feast.)
  4. Anything set in the 4th Century.
  5. An old priest finds a relic of unimaginable power that may determine the fate of the universe in the final cosmic conflict between Heaven and Hell.
  6. Fifteen-year-old Angela is the least popular girl in her high school when the dreamy new boy with glowing red eyes asks her to the prom.
  7. A wagon train of Amish brides is ambushed by Indians, but beneath their nine-patch quilts is hidden a shipment of the latest Browning Automatic Rifles. (This sort of Christian historical romance can miss a few details.)
  8. Mostly anything the Bear says about it.
  9. How Muslims saved Western Civilization and will renew it in our century.
  10. The Humble Wisdom of Pope Francis.
Or anything else that comes to mind when people think of "Christian / Catholic Fantasy."

The Bear is pleased to report that the Kindle Version of Judging Angels is hanging in at #8 today in Amazon's weirdly-titled "Hot Christian Fantasy" category against all the giveaway books. He just wonders what all those teenage girls and Amish women are going to think when they read the first page. Girls, just skip toward the end of Chapter 28: A Fine Romance With No Kisses, right before Chapter 29: Hotel Blocks Cops, Tots Chopped.

Find the now-infamous "Elevator Scene." (Make your own jokes if you must, but Bear doesn't wanna hear 'em.)

Sorry, but it's not really that sort of "Hot Christian Fantasy."

While everyone is waiting for their autographed trade paperbacks, check out the many inspiring books EWTN is featuring on their book blog. (Of course, Judging Angels is not there. EWTN hates Bears. And possibly elevators. The Bear wishes to state, however, that rumors that EWTN harvests Bear bile for Chinese traditional medicine have not been conclusively proven.)

4 comments:

  1. A little possession is not a bad thing now and then. So long as it's not as cringeworthy as Richard Burton in Exorcist II. I hear posession is all the rage among teenagers dabbling in the occult these days. I just hope your first page is not like the opening confession scene in "Calvary". Great movie, though.

    Hot Christian Fantasy? That ain't right...

    ReplyDelete
  2. Bear, I'm positive you'd already be invited to the Doug Keck show by now, except for the fact that, well you're a bear. There still seems to be a stigma these days against bears writing 500 page books on hot Christian fantasy. I know, go figure. Some people still seem to think bears really have no experience in this category, and should stick to writing about things they know best: crushing human skulls and scaring campers.. Maybe try the local public access channel first.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There is no question Bear is publicity challenged in a way other novelists are not. I'm not going to sit her and bitch about it. There will be some who are not afraid to getting hit with the Pope Stick who will interview the Bear. I wrote it, I think I did a decent job, and I think it is edifying. Whatever happens next is out of m y hands. It's not a barrel of laughs, and if you don't get mordant humor, you're probably not going to b relieved by the psychological distance I am careful to keep the reader at from the dark material 95% of the time. If someone finds it too depressing, I don't know what to say. Perhaps my experience with life has been unusually negative, and the stories I have to tell are dissections of temptation, and struggles, betrayal and false witness. Maybe what I am an expert in is sin, and how you deal with it in the real world. It's till got more laughs the Brothers Karamazov.

    ReplyDelete
  4. As far as publicity is concerned, I believe the Art Bell show has some openings. You'd probably be the first Catholic on the show since the late Father Malachi Martin. He was a big hit, I heard.The only catch is waking up at one in the morning and answering questions from the call-ins. You'd be the first Catholic Bear on the Radio.

    ReplyDelete

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